Kink in my plans!

So here's what I get for being just a bit too smug about things in general. I find out this morning that I am currently number 43 on a list in the Student Family Housing Department at NMSU. And there are 10 houses available now for summer and fall. SHIT!!! It would've just been too easy, right? Only $575 a month, rent and utilities, including phone and internet, right on campus basicall, which = saving on gas money, a bus that comes right by to take the boys to school. Yup, too damn easy. The lady on the phone was like, 'The soonest you'll be coming up for a house in maybe October or November'. Which is odd, who moves out of student housing in the middle of a semester? So I'm assuming that the earliest will be next semester. So, I'm thinking, not the end of the world, I can go along with this, right? Rent a house or apartment until then, right? And SHIT!!!! again. Money-money-money-money, etc. Lord help me, I'm busted!

How does my garden grow?

Bad-ass, that's how!!

'My' garden is actually a cooperative effort between me and my Nanny and Papa. However, silly, capitalist, westerner that I am, I like to refer to it as "mine". Sick, I know...



However, that is neither here nor there where members of the nightshade family are concerned! The tomatoes are flourishing! The potatoes are thriving! The peppers are doin' a dancin' jig!



We actually have two separate gardens going. Behind the house, there are 10 tomato plants in a bed with 3 pepper plants sprinkled in. It's a great spot, protected, and when it rains (however often that is) half the roof drains right there. There are also two old bathtubs filled with basil, rosemary, parsly, dill, chives, and other various yummy herbs, along with some loose leaf lettuce. In the big plot, we have a couple rows of sweet corn, a row of yellow wax beans, various cucumbers, beets, cantaloupe, okra, and potatoes. We also have a squash and zucchini plant. Mmmmmm, I can't wait to reap the harvest, man!

I've been using some old hay as a mulch in the big plot. Once the seedlings get a decent size, I put the hay up and around them, and along and in between the rows. It seems to be working well both for the moisture retention and keeping the weeds at bay. It's pretty noticeable in the spots that have a good, thick layer of hay versus the spots that were planted later and therefore don't. I'll keep you updated and post some pictures soon.

In Other News

1)So, it's been a few weeks since I've graduated and guess what? I still haven't heard a peep from my dear old dad. Ugh! Irritation. I mean, we've never kept up a constant and close correspondance, but generally we're on good terms. We're both just lazy about keeping in touch. However, I felt that this (graduation) was a pretty momentous occassion. Whatever. I've had a bit of a thorn in my side since a few years ago when I asked him for some help (ANY help) when I wanted to go to Dominica to study abroad. Now, I know my dad's not rich, but neither am I! Or my grandparents, for that matter, and they constantly go out of their way to help me and the boys, when they had no hand in the creation of moi, and, therefore, no obligation really. Apparently, my dad feels that his obligation was $180 per month until I turned 18, with a year of living with him in high school thrown in. Ugh, whatever. It's one of those things that shouldn't surprise you, and you really expect nothing more, yet it still bothers on a very deep level. Blech!

2) I'm getting cabin fever! I want to get on a plane and get out of the country! I'm so restless! Let's face it, gardening and blogging can only take up so much of my time.....:)

A Strange Summer

But lovely, no doubt...

So, I've graduated, completely finished my undergraduate career. After 6 long years, it feels a bit strange and a bit not. Like when you have a birthday and are supposed to feel old but don't. But this might just be better :)

And next up? Graduate school in Las Cruces, Cultural Anthropology. Yay! I'm completely excited and impatient. I'm pretty sure it's going to be amazing, though the last few days have been more numbing in my brain than anything else. I mean, I'm hopeful and pretty sure that things they are a'changin', but after the flurry of classes was over this semester, I went into weird mode. Mostly, it doesn't feel real yet, like when I'm about to travel somewhere new, and I know it, but I just can't fell it. Like that.

Which brings me to this: I'm not going anywhere (that I know of) this summer! Achk! I think it's kinda been seeping into my brain and depressing me a bit. Blech. But I am moving. And I am starting this whole new chapter of my life, with just me and my boys, thrown adrift. Well, ok, not really, I have a friend or two (including one totally amazing one!), a relative or two there, so we'll get on fine, I'm sure. There is worry, however, seeing as how this will be my first time, ever, with just me and the kiddos. I've had either my Mom, or mostly, my grandparents within yelling distance ever since I've had these boys. That's going to be quite a shocker, I'm assuming. We'll see.....

On another note, Erykah Badu has become the soundtrack of my summer, I think. Or part of it, at least. Along with Manu Chao and Lila Downs, my summer is groovin', yo! Blissful!

Viva la revolucion!!

That's my man, yo!

This past weekend, I went to Las Cruces, and it will go down in the books as one of the best weekends ever, and one of the biggest regrets of my life ever (ok, that last one may be a bit melodramatic, but you'll see......)

A few weeks ago, I discovered that Immortal Technique, my most favorite revolutionary hip-hop artist in the world ever, was going to be having a free concert in Las Cruces (my future home, no less!). Fuck yeah!! Before I talk about my weekend, let me tell you about Tech, or at least my interpretation of him since that's all I really know. I have a deep respect for this guy, his work and his music are something that I can really relate to, that I understand and love. He knows the injustices and the most ridiculous aspects of this world and its systems and raps about them. Some of it is angry, but if some of this shit doesn't make you angry, then you really must not give a shit (thanks, Ani!). I am instantly drawn to anyone who expresses their dissent of the institutions, especially in this country. I'm probably more radical (much more radical) than most of my friends, with the exception of Talia. I don't think our capitalist system and our falsely labeled democratic government can be fixed. I think it's going to have to burn to the ground and we're going to have to start over (literally or metaphorically, either will work). If I were to label myself, I would be closest to an anarchist, I think, though I'm not too worried about what to call myself. I don't believe people need to be policed and told what do in order to be decent people. I do believe in community and cooperation. I believe that this world is fucked up from the basement to the attic and everywhere in between and that most people don't know and /or don't care. But I also appreciate life and find the beauty and love everywhere I can and just soak it up. I'm happy, but I'm also angry at injustice and apathy. I don't like violence as a general principle and I think that things can and should be resolved peacefully if at all possible. However, I think there are circumstances that will require us to fight for the things that we know are right and just in this world; that sometimes, we must fight oppression in every way that we know how. With all of that said, Immortal Technique is just about my favorite artist right now. I know and love his music, and I was freaking pumped to go see him in concert.

So, back to this weekend, from the beginning. Talia and I left at 6:00 in the morning, because I thought the show was supposed to start around noon (turns out, it wasn't till 9:00 that night, but the day was so wonderful, I'm glad we left early). T and I have been friends since kindergarten, she's my best friend in the world, and I love her and all of her ridiculousness. Anytime I take a roadtrip with her, we have the best damn time. We talked about any and everything, and laughed our asses off.

Once in Cruces, we met up with T's cousin Sam and his girlfriends Sarah. And what ensued was the most perfect day. We were at the park for a few hours for an Earth Day celebration, saw my gal Niki, the best little ray of sunshine ever. We listened to some drums, some bluegrass music, and rolled around in the grass on this fantastic, warm day. Afterwards, we went to Mesilla and drank some mojitos out on a patio and listened to live music, Latin music, a woman with a fantastic voice.

Then! Oh yes, then! We went to the campus to see the concert. We got there a bit early, watched an emcee battle (kinda wack, I probably could've done better than most of those dudes..:) ) So there I was, standing near the front of the stage, when T runs up out of nowhere "I just met Immortal Technique! Come on!" I was like, "Yeah, right bitch, leave me alone, I have a good spot!" "No I'm seriouss! Let's go", she said and started dragging me to the side. I finally paid attention to her and realized she was fairly sizzling with excitement. I kinda felt my insides turn into jell-o as I followed her to the side of the stage. Oh....shit....man..... There was a merch table with 2 guys by it, one in a camo jacket and hat. I don't think anyone there realized who he was, really. Oh shit. I looked at T. "Really? Are you sure? Is that him??" I ask. "Yes!!"

I almost turned right around and said, "No! I don't want to go over there!" Looking back, there was probably some starstruckness going on, and I realized it, and I didn't want him to think I was wack and groupie-like. In a nutshell, I froze. We walked up to the table and he looked up. I smiled, shook his hand. "Hi, I'm Krysten," I said. I can't remember what he said. Hi? How's it goin'? I really have no idea. I made eye contact then looked away to the table with his CD's and some shirts on it. And that was it. I couldn't talk to him! What?!?! I know, I know, trust me, I know. I had about a million things to say, a thousand conversations to start. But how do you communicate your nature to someone whose nature (or at least a part of it) you already know? I guess what it came down to was that I didn't want to look like a fool in front of someone that I've admired from a distance. Lame, I know. What the hell happened to my balls, man? They left me at a critical moment.

And that was it. My interaction with him. Oh, I mean the concert rocked my world, I went hoarse from yelling and I was throwing my fist up in the air. He was an amazing performer, and I was impressed with the way he carried himself. People ended up on stage after ignoring the ropes (me and Talia included!), and he just kept on. Bad flippin' ass man, I'm not kidding. The show rocked.

He had nice hands. Soft.

Running, Day 10 and Having of the Spring Fever

Run, girl, run!

Well, I'm up to a mile and a half. Lame! I want to run, run, run like a crazy gal. I love how I feel after I run, and I've decided that I love the actual act of running. I almost started letting my really out of shape body get to me, then I read a running blog, and I feel much better :) One girl had the same quesiton that's been going through my head the past 10 days : Why does every time feel like the first time? aka: Why aren't I getting better at running? And she's been running for 2 months, so I feel better.....or wait, does that mean I'll still feel like it's the first time after 2 bloody months?? Say it isn't so! However, I'm trying to mentall prepare myself against all things anti-run: like, say, myself in a few weeks....



I do feel proud of myself, though. It's only been two months since I've stopped smoking, and I'm pretty sure I haven't actually ran since high school track. I'm pretty sure I'm going to stick to this; however, we'll see.

Spring Fever

I have the worst case of cabin/spring fever EVER! Ugh, I'm so ready to go out and about, go swim in a lake, lay on a beach, hike in the mountains, something! Get me out of this flat-landed, school-filled, lame-o place already! I'm not bitching, I'm just really....really....ok, I'm bitching, but still. It's that time of year, and I need adventure right now. I'm pretty sure that if something doesn't present itself soon, I'll be making up something to entertain myself, and that hardly ever turns out alright....

I Keep On Running But No One Is Chasing Me

So, I started running. As of yesterday. That would make today Day #2 and man on man! Am I ever glad I quit smoking when I did, because my lungs feel like purity shit! Blech! I actually am getting satisfaction out of this, which is great, considering that I kind of hate running....Wait! NO! I love running, actually. This is my new mantra, I LOVE RUNNING. Yesterday, my lungs felt like they were cobwebbed together with tiny wires criss-crossing everywhere, trying to function while underneath a suffocting wet feather pillow. A bit better today. My legs felt like cement today. I felt like I was literally dragging them around with my hips, my thighs and calves nothing but dead weight. Makes me wonder what tomorrow will be bring, that's for sure...

So, I travel 2 miles a day. I don't run the entire way (yet!), but I'm working up to it. I run half a mile, walk a mile, then run the last half mile. I thought I could up the running part a bit today, but no luck. My cement legs made me want to cry, so I stuck to the mile.

Aside from running, I'm doing yoga twice a week, though I'd like to up that to at least 4 or 5 times a week.

I will get in shape and healthy and I will enjoy doing it. Period.

Can't A Girl With Glasses Get A Break?
Crap-ola, my contact finally finished tearing this morning, and now I'm stuck in glasses, woefully so! I honestly feel like I'm handicapped, my sight just isn't right somehow. I feel off-balance and out of control. It's kind of a horrible feeling. Luckily, though, I'm dealing with my feelings of inadequacy by doing as little activity as possible and as much laying-around-reading-a-book as possible. Ha! Take that, you horrifying contraption stuck on my nose! You will not get the best of this gal, that's for sure!
Also, my parallel parking, which is stupendously horrendous to begin with, is now positively abyssmal, what with my lack of depth perception. Ah, the woes of me...

Flying Solo
So, I am now officially single, again. (You might have noticed how this is not some tragedy, as it is not the first thing on my mind these days....) One lessen I've (re-)learned: Relationships built for convenience never turn out to be at all convenient. Blast!
And now I am faced with that both terrifying and liberating status: single mother with two young children seeks loving revolutionary with whom she can live, laugh, love, fuck, and tear down the state. Now really, is that so much to ask for? I thought not.
Perhaps it's because I'm just newly single now, (but hopefully it's because I'm growing spiritually as a human being) but I'm not at all worried about finding someone to spend my life with, i.e. finding someone to keep me from being alone in my old, decrepit years. Since I tend to be such a hermit anyway, it's just not something I'm that worried about. I have complete confidence in being able to raise my boys as loving, compassionate, intelligent people, and complete confidence in being able to realize my wildest damn dreams. Don't get me wrong, I'm sure in about a month or two or five, I'll stumble into a slump, but I feel more able to cope with those now. Even though I'm only 26, I feel as if I've grown enormously in the past 3 years or so. I feel more confident in my skin, and even though I know I still have some more work and tons of learning to do, all prospects excite me right now. I know it's at least partly because I'm in a really great place right now, but I also know it's because I'm a stronger woman than I used to be.

On one last note, it's officially been 7 weeks since my last cigarette! WOOOO! I've been thinking about Borneo lately......